Monday, December 21, 2009

Who am I?

Over the years I have been many different people. When I was young I was Connie -daughter, granddaughter , niece , cousin , child. Once I married I was Mrs & wife, soon I was Mom, mom to three children. At work I was , the gal who was great at answering the phone, great at detailed research of customers accounts, the gal who could get customers to pay their bill and be happy about paying. I was also the "Morning" person, the employee who always cleaned the breakroom and had coffee ready to go the next day.

Now I am GRANDMA and this is the most rewarding identity I have had so far.

As GRANDMA my job entails being my grandchildrens number one fan, their champion, the person who is always in their corner -NO MATTER WHAT. As a parent your job is to raise independent , self reliant, self sustaining adults-this is NOT my job!! I have no responsibilities -except to be the one person in the world who never judges only loves.

I worry that my own children may experience some jealousy , perhaps even harbor some small resentment in the change of my personality, however I hope they realize that being a Grandparent is completely different from being a parent. I wonder if Casey Anderson was unable to share her parents love, devotion with her daughter. Was jealousy and resentment a driving force in her actions? I don't worry that any of my children would ever commit such an atrocity but I do take measures to let my kids know that my love for their children is an extension of my love for them.

Do I have a point to this ramble, NOPE.. just wanted to say, the more you love the more love you have to give.

Happy Holidays

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Wisdom or Smarts?

"Mother nature is older and more experienced than you. If anything should ever happen -Don't do anything stupid- you know your mother and I will always love you." Quote from my Father Royce Hawthorne .

My Father is not an educated man. He was student in the 40's and 50's before Hyper Active -Attention Deficit or Dyslexia were recognized and yes he suffered from all of these. My dad suffered through school, reading was slow and painful for him yet he had a teacher in high school who decided to read his tests to him and low and behold he earned his dipolma.

In some ways my father seems to be simple and innocent. Tell him a joke and most likely he will take it literally, not understand the subtexts. Yet my dad was and is a very wise man. Back in a time when most people were unaware of child molesters, child murderers my dad was ever vigilant and protective of me, his only child, and all children he came into contact with. My dad was suspicious of all strangers, most friends and family members. He saw through a persons looks and tried to see into their soul (for lack of a better term), looking for hidden evils. Many people considered my dad overly protective, paranoid and down right mean, however some of these same people were appalled and dismayed to find out their own children had been victims of "evil". While one cannot place blame on unknowing parents, one can recognize my dad's wisdom, wisdom beyond his education, beyond his appearance.

To say my dads over-protectiveness annoyed me to no end, made him the butt of many jokes and unkind remarks by others is an extreme understatement, but I look back and am more than proud and thankful for my father and his love and protection.

While being smart and educated is desirable, I think I value WISDOM more. I strive to be wise , kindhearted , loving, and protective of others as my dad is.

Thank you for reading and best wishes to you and yours.

Thursday, December 10, 2009


As most of you know yesterday was my 31st wedding anniversary, some of you asked how we made it to 31 years. Marriage is NOT easy, it is a constant work in progress, however I do have some tips that I have learned over the years.

Surround yourself with people who are supportative of your marriage. Easy you say, but take a moment and think of people you may know who slyly or openly are negative about marriage or your spouse. Over periods of time this negativity can worm it's way into your subconscience influencing your prospective towards your relationship.

Do NOT spend social time with people who cheat on their spouse. You may believe with all your heart that cheaters cannot influence you but marriage is forever, life can become dull , difficult, depressing, in times of stress your defences CAN be breached, protect yourself .

DATE NIGHT, schedule it, plan it, make it happen. Spend time alone with your spouse, turn off your cell phones, do NOT invite your children, friends or family, this time should be about the two of you . Do not discuss money problems, problems with your children, family or jobs. This time should simulate pre-marriage behavior.

Reflect, look at old photos and remind yourself why you fell in love with your spouse, look for those qualities in your spouse today. Try to understand how life, disappointments, illness, family issues, jobs and other infuences effect your spouse.

Most importantly FORGIVENESS - forgive yourself and your spouse.

Be your spouse's best friend, his/her champion and lover.

I am no expert but wanted to share a few things I have learned over the years.