As most of you know yesterday was my 31st wedding anniversary, some of you asked how we made it to 31 years. Marriage is NOT easy, it is a constant work in progress, however I do have some tips that I have learned over the years.
Surround yourself with people who are supportative of your marriage. Easy you say, but take a moment and think of people you may know who slyly or openly are negative about marriage or your spouse. Over periods of time this negativity can worm it's way into your subconscience influencing your prospective towards your relationship.
Do NOT spend social time with people who cheat on their spouse. You may believe with all your heart that cheaters cannot influence you but marriage is forever, life can become dull , difficult, depressing, in times of stress your defences CAN be breached, protect yourself .
DATE NIGHT, schedule it, plan it, make it happen. Spend time alone with your spouse, turn off your cell phones, do NOT invite your children, friends or family, this time should be about the two of you . Do not discuss money problems, problems with your children, family or jobs. This time should simulate pre-marriage behavior.
Reflect, look at old photos and remind yourself why you fell in love with your spouse, look for those qualities in your spouse today. Try to understand how life, disappointments, illness, family issues, jobs and other infuences effect your spouse.
Most importantly FORGIVENESS - forgive yourself and your spouse.
Be your spouse's best friend, his/her champion and lover.
I am no expert but wanted to share a few things I have learned over the years.