Saturday, January 23, 2010

Drunken Crickets


I survived "The Great Dust Storm" and was working at TG&Y,"a five and dime"(imagine a miniature WALMART).

In the summer of 1977 or was it 1978? a plague of crickets descended upon Bakersfield like a scene out of a horror movie. I would walk out of the door at work and the sidewalk, parking lot and my car would be blanketed by the crusty bugs. Walking to my car, I would dodge crickets flying drunkenly through the thick smoggy air. Thank goodness camera phones and YouTube had not been invented as I am sure my wild weaving, jumping, and thrashing around to avoid the crickets would surely have gone viral.

One evening a gentleman came into the store to have a key copied. I went over to the key machine, matched his original with a blank, set them in the machine and started the grinding process. As I was standing at the machine , making idle chit chat with the customer, I felt a strange scratching on the inside of my thigh, and then felt a crawling sensation moving up towards my panty line.

I started screaming and jumping up and down, stomping my feet and shaking my pants leg trying to dislodge the cricket from the inside of my pants. After what seemed like a lifetime, probably 10 seconds in reality, the wretched creature fell to the floor and I stomped it to smithereens!!!

With the remains of the dead cricket at my feet I looked up to continue copying the key and my customer was GONE!! VANISHED!!

Nearly 33 years later and I still wonder what the poor guy thought and did he have another copy of that key at home?

18 comments:

  1. Hahaha...that's awesome. Cricket plague two years before I was born. Strange, strange, strange.

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  2. Thank you Aaron for reading and commenting.
    And I still wonder did that guy think I had dropped acid??

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  3. Great story Connie. That's crazy and pretty funny. Maybe he'll read it and come forward!

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  4. OH no!! That would ruin the mystery.. LOL..
    It really is a treasured memory, I just wish I had had a glimpse of his face!! thank you for reading and commenting.

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  5. Awesome story Connie. Very funny. Thanks for sharing. It made me chuckle to myself. I could envision the whole scene! He probably thought you were crazy! hahahahaha!

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  6. Thank you Lana. as I stated above, it really is something I will never forget, wonder if he remembers it?

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  7. Super Classic! And yes, that wouldve went viral in 24 hours!

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  8. Ha Michael, I am just happy I did not have to endure seeing myself jumping around and screaming . thank you so much for reading and commenting

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  9. I left a comment but it disappeared. Wacky! Trying again. Loved the panty part and the guy running for his life!

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  10. Thank you Nick and it's all true!! no embellishment needed.

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  11. I'm still trying to figure out where my other comment went. I was the first to comment, dang it!!

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  12. must be on the missing hard-drive

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  13. *Laugh Out Loud* I spelled that out because that's what I did! Very funny tale, even though probably not for you in 1977 with a creepy crawly so close to your unmentionable ;)

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  14. OMG!! I did NOT think it was funny when I was 18 years old and oh so young and virginal, way too close to the unmentionable.

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  15. That is classic. I don't think that I would have stuck around either. Very well written. Descriptive and entertaining.

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  16. Thank you Dan for reading and commenting.. and that poor man.. I still laugh when I think of it.

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  17. "as I am sure my wild weaving, jumping, and thrashing around to avoid the crickets would surely have gone viral." That is so perfect, and I would have totally paid to see it! To see you jumping up and down trying to bat away the crickets, it's perfect!

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  18. It's totally true and at the time embarrassing, today.. funny as heck to remember .. thank you for reading

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